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Archive for the ‘Myths and Lies’ Category

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The "Golden Boy" vows to continue using his products, despite the Surgeon General's warning that doing so would only make him look like more of a douche.

House Minority leader John Boehner’s signature sunless tanning spray has been recalled by Naranja Skin Co. due a growing number of customer complaints.  The Republican representative’s Deep Orange MicroMist Tanning spray had enjoyed national success until numerous customers recently needed to be hospitalized because they suffered adverse effects from using the spray.   Thirteen people, in all, needed emergency care when continued use of the spray caused them to suffer severe skin rashes, uncontrollable diarrhea, and second degree burns.  Although the Naranja Skin Co. claimed the hospitalizations were isolated incidents, it issued a formal apology and has also called for an immediate recall of all sold and unsold product.  Boehner characterized Naranja’s recall as a precautionary move and stood by the products’ formula, claiming “hey look at me you don’t see me crapping my pants and my skin burning aint off neither!”

The most common side effects customers complained of was unexplained sensations of

"Yo niggee hit me up with a lil' spritz of that Boehnasty sheeet!!!"

"Yo niggee hit me up with a lil' spritz of that Boehnasty sheeet!!!"

elitism, and sudden bouts of douchy attitude.  These side effects were no secret to Boehner and Naranja as the products’ warning labels explicitly contained those very conditions. Boehmer explained, “when you look this good and tan, you can’t help but feel better than everyone, plus you aren’t afraid to let them know either.”

Originally marketed for middle aged men and women, Boehner’s spray surprisingly gained a loyal following amongst the 16-22 demographic, especially in the Philadelphia and New Jersey markets.  When word spread of the recall angry fans stormed local pharmacies looking to stock up on the potent spray.  “I can go a day without my Boehmer’s son, cause the honeys be loving my orangeness” said one area young man.  Prior to this weekend’s events Boehmer was rumored to be launching a highly anticipated extra strength version of his spray which he claimed to “make you look like an Umpa Lumpa in only one application guaranteed.”  No word yet if the hospitalized customers are seeking legal action or not.

More saatisfied Boehner customers….

imagesorange3_fnfake-tanJoeyPorsche

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  On a July 28 Fox News Show (above), Glenn Beck called President Obama a racist who has a “deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture,” then as if remembering the President was born to a white mother contradicted…err, rescinded his comment seconds later.  The damage was done because soon thereafter ColorofChange.org started calling for a boycott of his show, and apparently sponsors listened.  A large number of Beck’s sponsors have subsequently dropped him, which Beck has not taken lightly as supposedly he has been spending much of his off camera time alone crying in dark, musty stairwells.  How bad is he hurting?  Yesterday evil retailing giant Wal-Mart and seven other companies pulled their ads from his show.  Among the other 20 companies that have bailed on the blinkered Beck are:  GMAC Financial Services, Best Buy, CVS, Travelocity, Geico, ConAgra, RadioShack, Men’s Wearhouse, State Farm, Sargento Cheese and Procter & Gamble.

glenn-beck-goes-crazy-in-radio-show-pin-head-funny-comedy

WARNING: This content above is just another example of taking excerpts of statements without qualification(s). (Something you will not see me do to “izquierdistas” but something “izquierdistas” commonly practice – I am not saying Andy is an “izquierdista, but this is one of their tactics. The content below is downright hilarious, even considering how much of a conservatist I am. – Bobby Nz

Hundreds of Beck fans have voiced support for him on a counter-protest Web site, which urges consumers to boycott the advertisers who pulled out of Beck’s show.  Judging from Monday night’s broadcast, their efforts seemed to work as there were plenty of new sponsors eager to fill the ad slots, including the following notable companies:

Fucking Asshole Towing Co.

Fucking Asshole Towing Co.

Ashwipe Chimney Sweepers, Inc.

Ashwipe Chimney Sweepers, Inc.

Big Dick’s Halfway Inn Resort

Big Dick’s Halfway Inn Resort

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Teabagging, as shown by the video above, has the potential to ruin the lives of kids.  It also has the potential to ruin our chances of having an educated debate on health care.

The term “teabagging” is  slang for the act of a man (teabagg-er) placing his scrotum in the mouth or on, or around the face  of another person (teabagg-ee), often in a repeated in-and-out motion.  The practice resembles dipping a tea bag into a cup of tea.  By now you may be asking yourself what this weird sexual act has in common with health care.  The answer is everything.

The media has been struggling to characterize the teabagger movement.  Some media outlets are quick to call them crazy (notably MSNBC), some try to keep an objective stance on them, while other outlets (notably FOX) are happy to promote them as innocent patriotic protesters.  Astroturf is a term for the use of money to create an appearance of widespread “grassroots” support.

The truth of the matter is the people responsible for these teabaggers are anything but crazy, and they are certainly not innocent protesters.  It is nothing more than a really clever corporate-funded ploy to trick people into supporting the interests of only the richest Americans.

Freedomworks is one of the largest corporate-funded conservative lobbying groups.  It has helped organize the chaos at recent town hall meetings on healthcare.  This the same chaos promoted by FOX News as grassroots protesting etc..  The Wall Street Journal has already exposed the Freedom Works method of building “amateur-looking” websites disguised to promote the lobbying interests of Dick Armey.  Armey works for DLA Piper, As of just this Friday Armey used to work for one of the biggest lobby firms in the United States, and is also the co-chairman of FreedomWorks.  In 2009, FreedomWorks launched a campaign against President Obama’s health care proposals, accusing the Obama administration of attempting to socialize medicine.  This anti-reform campaign is really interesting considering that DLA Piper received $1,290,000  in 2009 from the pharmaceutical company Medicines Co., and much more from Bristol Meyers Squib Inc. (another pharmaceutical company), to help lobby against health care reform.  Basically, big pharmaceutical companies paid DLA Piper to derail health care reform, and subsequently FreedomWorks then launched its anti-health care reform campaign.  This is not to suggest that all of those protesting are being organized by Freedomworks, it merely points out the fact that some of the grassroots-looking protesting is actually being promoted by corporations who stand to benefit from the health care reform is shot down.

WTF??

WTF??

Do crazies think alike?  Fundamentalist conservative organizations are not the only guilty party here, extreme liberal organizations are also to blame for muddying the waters of discussion.  Take LaRouchePAC, who are responsible for promulgating the idea that health care reform is somehow a Nazi concept, a view that has also been promoted by none other than Rush Limbaugh.  Interestingly this is one of the only views that the crazy extremists on both sides agree on.  Funny how war makes for strange bedfellows.

Regardless of what side of the debate you are on, the staggering costs of health care affects us all.  We pay more than any other country for health care and yet our country’s health care system is only ranked 37th in the world.  Obviously, paying more for health care does not equal better overall quality.  As most economists agree one of the only ways we are going to combat the growing deficit is to reel in the costs of health care.  The reason being that if health care costs are not driven down the country will go bankrupt.

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page0_blog_entry148_110. Everyone will have to participate in Civil War reenactments at least once a month as part of the Civil War Reserve.

9. Midgets/Dwarfs will be forced by the government to become the seeing eye-people for the blind. (either on leashes, or by sitting on people’s shoulders)

8. Government Healthcare is really a secret plan so that very poor actually become organ farms for the very rich.

7. Insurance coverage will be rationed depending on the results of an IQ test, the lower it is the less coverage you can expect.

6. If you have a beard and you like it, you can keep it.

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